Mar 10

My Name Is Wendy

And I am a married woman who loves sex. I love sex with my husband and I love sex with other men. It’s all good, and I enjoy every minute of it. Especially after I learned how to find sex partners on the Internet.

I have sex with men who are not my husband but I am not a cheater. In many ways I am more honorable than many of my single friends.

When I was single, before I met my husband, I had lovers that I knew were not candidates for a long term relationship. Most of them knew it too but we pretended and we lied to each other especially in bed. We knew the relationship was a lie but we told it anyway. It was simply what people do when they don’t know how to find sex in an honest relationship.

Today, I am happily married to a wonderful man. He gives me the freedom to be honest about my sexual wants and needs and to be with whoever I want to be with because he knows that I will always come home to him.

The men I have sex with, for the most part, are more honest too. They too know how to find sex and they know that the reason they are with me is for sex. The purpose of our relationship is sex and we are free to let ourselves go and just be in the moment and enjoy each other.

Contrast that to the unsaid promises made when dating someone who is not ”Mr. Right” but a “Mr. Right Now” where the whole relationship is deceitful.

When I have sex with a partner today it’s honest and it’s fun and that’s all it needs to be.

Finding love and sex are two very different things. Sometimes they overlap but more often they are not the same thing at all. Learning how to find sex can be a challenge, especially if you have be out of the dating scene for a few years.

On this blog I will share with you some of what I;ve learned about how to find sex partners on-line. Some of my stories are funny experiences and some of them are serious. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy reliving them for you.

Mar 10

How It All Started

Thanks for coming to my blog. I hope you enjoy the stories of my adventures in the world of married sex. In case you are interested I thought I would tell you a little about me.

I am 37 years old, my true age, and I am happily married to a great guy. We don’t have any kids and my best guess is that I am immune but it’s okay because we have each other and a fur person named Peaches. Peaches is a pit bull but she doesn’t know it. She thinks she is a lap dog and all she wants to do is lay in my lap and slobber.

My husband is a very good man and I love him dearly. We have a good sex life and he is a wonderful lover. He always makes me cum and I love the way he treats me.

About six years into our marriage I met this man on a work related out of town trip and I totally fucked up and had sex with him. It was a one time thing but afterward it tore me up with guilt until I finally confessed to my husband about it. Instead of tossing me out on my ear he told me it was alright, that he understood, and that I should be sure to be careful, if it happens again.

“Be careful,” I screamed at him, “what the hell does that mean?”

He explained that he wasn’t upset with me for having sex with another man and that he loved me and wanted me to be free to experience all that life has to offer. He said that he didn’t view fidelity in love and marriage the way other people viewed it and gave me his permission to have sex with anyone I wished as long as I was careful about it.

At first I thought he was using my confession to have an affair of his own but to my knowledge he never has. He says “I’m all the woman he needs.” I wanted to say “You’re all the man I need.” But after the affair I began to think about why I did what I did that night.

I was attracted to the guy and he did ply me with wine and sweet talk but why did I let him seduce me.

I wasn’t a virgin when I met my husband Jim, but I wasn’t very experienced either. I had a boyfriend in high school and I dated some in college but I was by no means a party girl.

Then I remembered something my sister told me. Carla was very different than me in high school. She was a year behind me but light years ahead of me in the sexual experience department. We often talked about boys and sex and one day she confessed to me that she loved sex and was addicted to cock. She said she let lots of boys fuck her and that her favorite thing to do was to suck cock.

I was shocked. My little sister was a whore, I couldn’t believe my ears, but then she went on to say that she assumed that I was the same way. She said it was probably genetic since mom was the same way too. Again, I was completely dumbfounded, but she told me that mom confessed to her that she had lovers and that dad knew about them.

It was like I was living in some cocoon or something. Why didn’t I know about this? She said that mom only told her about it when she went to her for advise after a particularly bad breakup she had with a boy she really liked.

She told me that she had been giving guys blow jobs for years but would never let anyone have intercourse with her until she dated this one guy. After she gave him her virginity he tried to set her up with his buddy and she freaked out.

When she told mom about it, mom told her that men are just like that. She said that men don’t think the same way that women do and that she shouldn’t let herself be hurt by it.

I remember that I was only seventeen at the time and had never given a boy a blow job. I was more curious about my sister’s blow job confession than I was about mom having affairs. I guess both of those revelations had me spinning but the thought of taking a boy’s penis in my mouth had me reeling with excitement and just a little confusion.

“What happens if they … you know.” I asked my sister.

“If they cum?”

“Yeah, if they cum, you know while your sucking them, I mean.”

“You swallow it,” she said, nonchalantly.


“I like it. No, I love it!” She said, “I love the taste of it and the way they jerk when it happens and sometimes they scream. I love feeling in control and crazy as it sounds, I cum too, almost every time.”

“You’re kidding?” I said, “What does it taste like?”

“They’re all a little different but it doesn’t taste bad.”

“I could never let a boy do that,” I confessed. But later that day that is exactly what I did. I gave my boyfriend, at the time, his first of many blow jobs. That was a long time ago but I still remember that first time like it was yesterday.

I thought long and hard about it over the years and I guess maybe there is something to this genetics thing because there I was a happily married woman, having just confessed an affair to her loving husband, and all I could think about was how to find some stranger to fuck.

Anyhow, that’s how it all started.

Will write more soon,


Mar 10

My First Attempt

I work as a software facilitator and trainer. I teach people how to use my Companies software programs and sometimes have to travel to the client’s city to give classes.

My work travel is what got me started in all this because I had this affair with a guy I hardly knew and, when out of guilt I confessed to my husband about it, he reacted completely the opposite of what I expected and basically gave me permission to do it again. I was confused about his attitude and we talked about it over the next few weeks but then I just put it out of my mind.

I was in Hialeah Florida giving a three-day training session and on the last day I wore this orange dress that had white down the side panels. There was a very attractive but very young man in the class and each morning the host company provided coffee and pastries for participants before the start of classes.

“You look like a creamsicle in that dress,” he said. I looked at him crossly and he continued, “You look good enough to eat.”

I took his statement as a complement and smiled. “You’d better not,” I said, “What would the other students think.”

“They’d think I was a lucky guy,” he said.

“Well you’re not going to get lucky here but maybe later tonight,” I said with a wink. That was all the encouragement he needed and for the rest of the day Jerry was teachers pet. Late in the afternoon when most of the rest of the class was falling asleep Jerry was still wide-eyed and attentive and during the last break of the day he came up to me.

“Did you mean what you said this morning?”

“What was that Jerry?”

“About seeing you after class. Tonight I mean.”

“I don’t know. I have an early flight out in the morning and I probably should get to bed early,” I said, not wanting to seem too eager.

“But you gotta eat right? So can I take you to dinner?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Oh, come on what do you have to lose?” He said.

“Okay, I tell you what. I won’t let you take me to dinner but if you show up at my door with a pizza and some red wine I may let you in,” I said, with a wink.

“Extra cheese, extra pepperoni, with or without little fishes?” He said.

“Surprise me,” I told him.

When I got to my room I immediately called my husband.

“Hey hon. Yeah, it went well,” I said, “Listen, I need to know something.”

“Shoot,” he said.

“In about twenty minutes a very randy young man is going to come to my room with a pizza and some wine and I need to know what my limits are here. I know we talked about this but I’m almost at the point of decision and I really need to know your thoughts about this.”

“If it’s deep dish pizza let him have as much as he wants.” My husband Jim and I have this running feud about which is the real pizza. I like deep dish and he likes thin crust.

“Ha, Ha very funny.”

“Look Wendy, I can’t tell you what to do. Your free to do whatever makes you happy.”

“I need more than that.”

“Like what?”

“I need you to say it.”

“Say what exactly,” Jim said, with a tone of frustration in his voice.

“Just say it,” I insisted.

“Wendy, fuck the pizza delivery boy.”

“He’s not a pizza boy he’s an insurance sales rep.”

“Is that a step up or a step down from pizza boy?”

“Okay but just so I’m on record. I called and I asked.”

“Just be careful.”

“There you go again with that be careful shit. What the hell does that mean anyway?”

“Have fun lover,” he said, as he hung up. I stood there with the phone still at my ear but then I panicked. My student would be here any minute and I was all sweaty from the Florida heat.

I stripped down and stepped into the shower. I couldn’t believe I was doing this. I mean the first time it happened the guy was the seducer but this time it was more my play than his. I thought about what I would say and somewhere between soaping my already wet pussy and rinsing my erect nipples I came to a decision. Jerry was in for the time of his life.

I finished my shower and grabbed one of those white complementary robes they give you at the hotel just as Jerry knocked on the door. I answered with a towel on my head and let Jerry in and directed him and his pizza to the spot I cleared on the dresser. My suitcase was in the only chair in the room and Jerry was forced to have a seat on the edge of the bed.

“I’ll just be a minute,” I said, as I went back into the bathroom. I deliberately left the bathroom door open as I removed the towel and began to blow dry my hair. I knew Jerry was watching but when the robe fell open I made believe that I was oblivious to my naked form in the mirror. Jerry was getting an eyeful and I was enjoying myself thinking about how my tease was affecting him.

When I finished I turned to face Jerry, robe still open, and said, “Can we fuck first? I always get the hungries after sex.” Jerry’s face dropped and he sat there on the edge of the bed staring at me like I was a two headed cow.

“You do want to fuck me, don’t you? I mean that is why you came here tonight, isn’t it?” Jerry started to stammer and stutter and turned pale as a ghost.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I didn’t expect. I mean I …” He stood and began to back out of the room. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“Where are you going?” I said.

“I just remembered, I promised a friend I’d give him a ride. I gotta go,” he said. “I just wanted to drop by the pizza I promised you,” and he left closing the door behind him.

So much for my first attempt at seduction, but the pizza was deep dish and the wine was second tier so the night was not a complete loss.

My mistake that night was that I was totally naive about the fragile male ego. If I had let Jerry seduce me the night might have ended very differently.

I learned from this incident and got a whole lot better at being seduced.


Mar 10

A Co-Worker Hook-up

My second attempt at finding a lover was a bit more successful but still left me wondering if this sex outside of marriage was worth the trouble.

A co-worker had been hitting on me for months and it kind of became a regular thing with us. He would constantly proposition me and sometimes whisper things he’s like to do to me and I took great pleasure is shooting him down.

After my husband gave me permission to date other men I began to look at Jason differently. He was about my age married with three beautiful kids and though I had only met his wife once she seemed nice enough though very plain looking.

I always thought that Jason was less than serious about wanting to cheat on his wife with me. I figured it was just his way of injecting a little fun into the otherwise boring routine of our daily jobs. I decided to test him one day.

Jason and I often ate lunch together in the break room but I decided that I needed a little more intimacy for what I was about to spring on him.

“Let’s go out for lunch today,” I suggested.

“I don’t know,” he said, “I brought a sandwich today and I don’t think I have but five bucks in my wallet.”

“That’s okay. It’ll be my treat,” I said.

“I can’t, really.”

“Don’t be a jerk. Come on take me to lunch. I always wanted a ride in your minivan. Just to McDonalds, come on,” I teased.

“Okay, but I’m eating my sandwich,” he said. He walked me to his car and opened the passenger side door for me. The Van was immaculate. Not at all what I expected since all I have to look at from my cubical is his messy desk.

“Nice ride,” I teased.

“Hey, it holds the family and it’s paid for,” he said.

“No kidding, nice ride. I expected it to look like your desk at work.”

“My wife vacuums it out every weekend,” he admitted.

“Oh, lucky you,” I said.

“Yeah,” he said.

“My husband says I can fuck anyone I want as long as I’m careful.”

“As long as your careful,” he repeated.

“That’s what I said,” I agreed.

“What does that mean exactly?”

“I guess it means I can fuck you if you want me.”

“Jeezz Wendy, what are you saying here?”

“I’m saying that you’ve been hitting on me for months now and I’m calling your bluff. Do you want me or are you just all talk.”

“No, I mean, I really want you but my wife isn’t going to give me permission or anything so we will have to be careful.”

“Like my husband said, as long as I’m careful.”

“Yeah, careful.”

“We could rent a room after work.”

“No good, Anne calls me when I don’t come home on time. And she pays the credit card bills.”

“I can pay for the room.”

“No, I can’t let you do that.”

“We could meet on the weekend maybe at the beach or something.”

“No, too easy to get caught on the beach.”

“What if I could have you over the house when Jim’s not home some night and you could tell your wife that you are at my house playing cards or something. This way if she calls you’ll really be there and it won’t cost us anything.”

“Okay, then what nights does Jim go out, usually.”

“I don’t know, it depends like what night is best for you?”

“Tuesday, nights are good. Junior has football practice Monday, Wednesday and Friday.”

“Okay, then this Tuesday at say 7:OO o’clock.”

“Yeah, this Tuesday at seven.” I finished my cheese burger and looked at my watch. We only had a few minutes to get back to work. I kissed Jason on the cheek and handed him a photo I printed on my computer at home. It was a close-up shot of my pussy. “Just so you know what’s waiting for you Tuesday night,” I said.

The rest of the week flew by and though it took some persuading I got Jim to agree to go out Tuesday night. He had no problem with me inviting Jason over for sex but he didn’t want to leave the house to accommodate him. I convinced him that it was necessary and he gave it up. Jim would go to a local sports bar and watch the game until I called him.

Jason arrived at 7:00 on the nose. The picture I gave him had the desired effect and he was immediately all over me at my front door. He tried to bend me over the lazy boy in the living room and got even more encouraged when he found out that I wasn’t wearing any panties under my slinky dress.

I convinced Jason to wait and take me to the bedroom. Once there we got naked as quickly as we could and fell entwined onto the bed. Jason’s cock was rock hard and he had no problem slipping it into my very ready pussy.

The sex with Jason was very animated and though I never came close to getting there he did last a good while but then something really strange happened. Jason stiffened up and screamed as he came inside me but immediately after he came his attitude changed completely.

He was like Jeckle and Hyde. One minute he had total lust for me and the next minute it was like I was a leaper or something. He pushed his way off of me and grabbed his clothes heading for the door.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, What did I do? I blocked his way out of the house and he got really angry.

“Get out of my way,” he said.

“Please,” I pleaded, “what’s wrong?” He wouldn’t tell me and he left with tires screaming down my driveway.

I called Jim in tears and he came home. I was distraught about the whole thing and I couldn’t imagine what I had done to hurt Jason so badly that he would act like that.

The next day at work Jason wouldn’t look at me. It was like I was some kind of monster or something. I stopped him as he went to his car after work.

“Please, tell me what I did. I don’t know what I did but all I want to do is apologize to you for what ever it was.”

“You didn’t do anything,” he said.

“I must have done something to make you leave like that.”

“You didn’t do anything. I’m the one who did something.”

“What, what did you do?”

“I cheated on my wife and that’s not who I am,” he said, as he pushed passed me and got into his car.

I just stood there in shock. “How could he blame me for that,” I thought. I went home and told my husband and he explained it to me.

He said that men are as much ruled by their hormones as are women. He said that when Jason was making love to me he was flooded with testosterone and wasn’t thinking about anything but his immediate needs. Once he came he lost his hormones and was flooded with guilt instead. It was that guilt that made him act the way he did.

What I realized from this experience is that extra-marital sex isn’t for everyone. Some people like Jason can’t deal with it. I realized that finding a lover required me to find men who were not only attracted to me but who were emotionally stable enough to enter into such a relationship. This was a lesson that I had to learn several times before it finally sunk in.

Finding men to have sex with is only half the problem. Finding men who can handle having sex with out strings and without guilt is not so easy.


Mar 10

My Little Theater Lover

After several less than stellar attempts at finding sexual partners, I finally got smart and turned to the Internet. I got to look at the photos and read the bios, then email and eventually make phone contact with several interesting guys. They were looking for sex and not afraid of it when they found it and they were there for me to choose from.

I weeded out several goof balls that were claiming to be someone other than who they were and found several men who looked and sounded really interesting. My first guy turned out to be a real winner and I still see him occasionally even today more than 6 years after our first time together.

Daniel is a thespian. He tours with a British little theater group and comes to my area in the winter season. He invited me to come and see his play and then later he took me to the cast party that lasted well into the early morning hours.

My husband was none too happy about me staying out all night but when I explained that I’d been drinking and didn’t want to drive intoxicated he agreed and gave his usual caution of “be careful.”

We got to the hotel where Daniel was staying at around three in the morning but there was a problem. The company booked the rooms double occupancy and his roommate had company. There was a cryptic note on the door something to the effect of “Sorry Mate but I’ve hooked up with …”

There were no rooms left in the hotel so we went for a walk looking for a room. Several blocks away there was this old motel that looked like the only way they could stay in business was to rent to the hookers by the hour.

We paid for the room and got the key. The room was shabby and smelled a little off but we were so horny for each other that it didn’t matter.

Daniel wanted to shower first and he began to strip down right in front of me. I watched as he stripped revealing a beautifully muscled body. He was once a dancer and sill kept in shape even though his bad knee kept him from the dance floor. My eyes were drawn to his flaccid penis. It was heavier than most and, when I saw it, I tore off my own clothes as fast as I could.

I followed Daniel into the small shower and immediately went down on my knees and began to suck his incredibly thick cock. It sprung to life in my mouth and I worked on it hungrilly while Daniel took his shower.

I managed to get his cock ridged hard but as much as I tried I couldn’t make him cum. After a while he pulled me up to him and began to soap me. We held each other in the shower and I could feel his rock hard cock against my belly. We rinsed in the warm water and he carried me to the bed soaking wet. He laid me down and fell between my legs. His first penetration brought me to instant orgasm. Daniel made love to me for hours that night and then made love to me several times again in the morning. I was getting dressed and ready to leave and he bent me over a chair pulled down my panties and did me one last time from behind. He kept my panties as a souvenir.

“I can’t get enough of you,” he said, and asked if he could see me again the following month in a nearby city. He wanted me to be with him for the weekend, not just one night, and he promised that I would have a great time and be treated like a queen. He walked me to my car and made me promise to call him with my answer.

The offer was so tempting, but I doubted that my husband would ever go for it. To my great surprise, after some pleading and a bit of power negotiating, he gave in.

I have had many weekends with Daniel over the last six years and each has been just as much fun and just as full of sex as the first.


Mar 10

Finding Good Sex Partners

I spent a lot of time and trying to hook-up with suitable sex partners about town only to be totally frustrated and disappointed with the results.

I met men in bars, mostly drunks, social gatherings, mostly inexperienced, I even tried to hook up with one guy from a church outing. I get hit on by guys at work, at the health spa or jogging in the park and I even got hit on by a guy at his daughter’s soccer practice. I was there with my niece and he thought she was my daughter. He propositioned me right there with his wife standing not twenty yards away and from the looks she gave me later that day she was not the sharing type.

Some of the men I found on my own were good looking and probably would have been good in bed but most were either too needy or just too inexperienced or guilt ridden to perform.

When I finally got smart and turned my search to the Internet, I was amazed at the number of really qualified prospects I had to choose from. Oh, don’t get me wrong, there are some pretenders out there but they are easy to spot and even easier to eliminate.

My personal profile on a dating site is always honest. I have struggled with my weight since I was a kid and I let guys know that if they are looking for a girl with the shape of a model then they should look elsewhere. I also let them know that I am looking for one on one sex and not just masturbating on the Internet.

I tell them up front that I am a happily married woman and that my husband is and will always will be my number one man. I let them know just how kinky I am willing to get and I’m not shy about telling them what I’m not into as well.

I get lots of contacts and I couldn’t possibly date them all so here is what I do to weed them out.

I immediately eliminate any guy with a free account – the cost of these services is small and if a guy can’t even pay that little price the chances are he either lives with his mother and drives a bicycle to work or he has a wife who will cut off his cock if she sees him spending money on an adult site.

I eliminate the guys with the nasty language. They are mostly teenagers or immature adults with whom I have nothing in common.

In most cases I eliminate the single guys. There are some exceptions but most single men are single for a reason. They either don’t have the skills or the looks or the stable employment history to have a wife or they are consummate players and full of themselves. I have dated some single men but I much prefer a mature married guy. His goal is to get laid without attachment and that is exactly my goal so it’s only natural that married guys are my preference.

I always question the married men I meet about their reason for wanting to have sex with me. I look for evasive answers or answers that indicate that their marriage is in some kind of turmoil. I look for the guy who says that his wife doesn’t need as much sex as he does or the guy who says that he and his wife have an open relationship.

There are several kinds of open relationships. There is the “don’t ask don’t tell” kind and then there is the truly open relationship where the wife has lovers, male or female and the guy has women.

I avoid bi-sexual men. I sometimes even bait them with a question about bi-sexuality to see what kind of response I get. I have nothing against gay people be they man or woman but it’s not my thing and I am in this for my sexual pleasure not so much for his so it’s one of my rules.

In general I look for a guy who is intelligent enough to send and receive well written email and someone who has a reasonably good telephone presence. I will not meet a man that I have not spoken with at least twice on the phone. I take my time to decide who gets a date with me. I need to feel secure and safe with a person before I give him any part of my body.

Generally I do not have sex on the first date. I usually meet for coffee and if things go well I make a date to meet him at a hotel. There have been some exceptions to this rule. There have been times when you first meet someone and just have to have them right then and there but I try to keep to this rule when I can.

My husband knows exactly where I am when I am out on a date. He knows who I’m with and he knows when I am expected home. If things change I always call him and let him know. This is especially true of a any first date. I realize that I have a special situation with a husband who cares about me and lets me play. If your circumstance is different I suggest you ask a girlfriend to be your contact and if that’s no good try to find a male friend who will look after your safety for you.

I have met many really nice guys on-line and continue to meet more. Many are one time meetings but some become long term relationships. Some of the guys I have met on-line have become lovers for years after that first encounter.

So, my advice is to first be honest about your profile. There are guys out there for every age, size and shape so why look for the ones that aren’t looking for you. Take your time to pick and choose the guys you want to meet and don’t be afraid to ask them anything that pops into your mind. If it works out, you are going to give them something very personal and very intimate and you should always be sure they deserve your gift.

Enjoy the search. Laugh and have fun with it. Lose the guilt and when the time comes to get naked remember that you are there for your needs not his. Make sure you are the focus of the lovemaking. Let yourself go and give in to your base desires. You have nothing to lose there are lots of other guys out there if this one doesn’t meet your needs.


Mar 10

Response To Your Emails

Here you will find my response to your emails. You can ask me anything, and as long as it isn’t too crude or rude and I will try to answer honestly.

You can email me at: Wendy@howtofindsex.com

Or you can leave a comment below but be aware guys my comment board is moderated and bad language or immature comments will get deleted.

Carrie wrote: What if you meet a guy and he’s not someone you want to have sex with. What do you tell him or how do you get out of it?

Wendy: First of all I always let the guys I meet know that I will not be intimate with anyone on a first meeting. That solves the problem most of the time but, if the guy senses that I am not interested and asks me directly, I usually tell him as tactfully and as truthfully as I can. It may hurt his feelings but I try to phrase my response as a critique rather than a condemnation. I might tell him that he uses too much cologne or that he needs to improve his personal hygiene. I might tell him that he needs to improve his communication skills or that he shouldn’t talk about himself so much. If it’s something he said that turned me off I would probably explain that to him.

Okay, sometimes this approach can get a little dicey so I am really careful and if the guy is the slightest bit scary, I would probably just tell him that I will call him and then lose his number. I never give out my phone number to anyone except my long term sex partners and I always have someone on speed dial when I meet someone new. If possible I have my husband go with me to meet a new guy.

You must always consider safety and your comfort level first. I would never go on a sex date with someone I wasn’t really excited about.

I hope this helps.

Barbara wrote: What if you meet a guy and he can’t perform. Do you give him another date or do you write him off?

Wendy: This is a really good question and I must admit that the first time it happened to me, I was very upset about it. The guy was really hot and I knew he was in to me but when we got down to it he didn’t have an errection. I tried to help him but nothing seemed to work. I immediately blamed the problem on me. I wasn’t pretty enough and my breasts were too small. I had a few pounds around my middle that was turning him off or my ass was too big. I just knew it was my fault and it made me feel terrible.

The guy was embarrassed and apologized profusely. He assured me that he found me very sexy and that it was completely his fault not mine but that didn’t make me feel the least bit better about it. He even tried to go down on me to make up for it but I was having none of that. If he wasn’t interested enough to get hard I wasn’t going to let him do that either. I didn’t return his calls for several weeks afterward but then I gave in and saw him a second time.

I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing, seeing him again, but I did and I am so glad I did. Johnny turned out to be a wonderful lover and I still see him once in a while today. As it turned out it really wasn’t something wrong with me that first night. The second time we met he made love to me several times and had absolutely no problem with his readiness.

Sometimes guys get nervous or maybe they eat something that puts them off or they have one drink too many but, what ever it was that first time with Johnny, he never had a problem again.

Margret wrote: Have you ever fallen in love with one of your sex partners?

Wendy: This is really a difficult question for me to answer because I’m in love with all of my long time partners. I genuinely care about them and I worry about them and, when they are going through some difficult thing in their lives, I try to be there for them. The notion that you can only really love one person is simply not valid, at least not for me. My husband knows that he comes first but I send birthday and other holiday wishes to my regular guys and always try to be there for them when I can. It’s not just sex with them but it’s not the same love I have for my husband either.

Jim wrote: Would you ever consider having sex with someone without a condom? I have never been able to use a condom. It’s probably just a mental thing but they don’t work for me.

Wendy: When I first started seeing men outside of my marriage I let the guy decide if he would use a condom. The subject just didn’t come up and most of them made love to me with out protection. I was on the pill and wasn’t worried so much about pregnancy and neither were my lovers evidently because they just did what they did without consulting me.

My husband and I had a long discussion about it and we decided that sex with out protection was just too dangerous unless you really knew who you were being intimate with. That being said, my husband leaves it up to me to decide if I will insist on someone wearing a condom.

My general rule is that if I meet someone new, he must wear a condom. There are very few exceptions but I will admit that there have been one or two or maybe three slip ups. Sometimes the moment comes and I forget that I have a rule about it and take him without the condom.

In the beginning I thought coming home after having unprotected sex would disgust my husband but I was so wrong about that. He is very turned on about me being intimate with someone with out protection and I usually get attacked and ravaged at the door.

To answer your question. Most women will insist or at least strongly prefer that you wear a condom. I suggest you practice masturbating with a condom until you overcome your problem with wearing one. If that doesn’t work, there are lots of women out there who are allergic to latex or for any number of other reasons will not insist you wear one so, be honest up front and you won’t be embarrassed.